Why again?

ORIGINAL PLAN PRE-TA: Quit art. Ms. Wayss disapproved of plan to then came...

PLAN B: Quit art after sophomore year. Did not want to give up right before the end.

PLAN C: Quit art after junior year.

PLAN D: Stick with it...but why?

Basically art junior year was therapy sessions I didn't have to pay for. Granted I started junior year off in counseling, I believe art is one of the reasons why I was able to stop going to counseling and still be okay. It was a way of expression, but not behind closed doors, which made it empowering. It was part of a healing process and accepting all that happened and was happening rather than ignoring everything, because that is what got me in trouble in the first place. It was a way to come to terms with it all, but also make a statement. And to those who may have been "uncomfortable" or "disturbed" by the statements I was making...f*@$ off :) because at no moment were the points that got me to those pieces "comfortable" or satisfying, or even beautiful. In fact they were the total opposite. Those moments were dark, and ugly, and raw, but they were real. Those pieces were real, and those who weren't disturbed could have unfortunately probably relate in some way. So to those who didn't like those pieces, neither did I; I do not like the fact that I had to go through certain experiences to get those pieces, but I made it and they helped me through. Those pieces that make you uncomfortable healed me, and hopefully took someone else in the direction of healing.

So why am I taking art again...because it is something I need. When the rest of the world is loud, crazy, and sometimes ugly, I need a studio to go to and process it all. Art for me can no longer be about pleasing everyone, making everything perfect, and making things comfortable. Instead it must be about those who matter. It must be about who is healing because of the piece, even if that person is only me.

Unity in Girls

In reference to pages 5 and 11 in sketchbook from 17 October 2016.

So with this first piece I want it to be my opening for the rest of the year. The important thing I want to convey is the beginning to the end of sugarcoating and allowing the hard conversations to happen. As of now I want to do this through contrast and texture. I am playing with the idea of feathers and stone to represent the normal conversations we have day to day, and the downplaying and sugarcoating that happens a lot. The stones will represent the hard truth that is often hidden. I am still trying to figure out how I am going to convey this image specifically. However, I know I want to make the illusion of the stone coming through the feathers so there will be a lot of play with layers in this project. 

Until Now

My theme for this semester has been cryptic color; exploring the significance of color and the absence of color. However, my theme not only explores this idea, but also a particular medium which is photography mixed media. This came from a want to combine two of the visual art worlds, and has turned into being able to expand my horizons in and out of the studio in more ways thought possible. At first mixed media was just with traditional supplies like other types of paper, paint, and writing utensils, but it has turned into a lot more than that. I have explored the idea of photoshop, 3D elements, and more just so far.


After coming to an artist block for awhile, I finally came back to figuring out where my best art comes from and that is the art I can relay a message through that particularly deals with my personal experiences. Through my theme I have been able to pick and choose what exactly I want to highlight for my audience to try and interpret, and what I rather include but not emphasis. I have found as an artist this element is most important to me, because art is a therapy on its own for me, it is a way for me to get things out, but I do not necessarily want everyone to know exactly what I am putting out there. This is why this theme has worked well for me so far; I can include everything, but emphasis only some parts. 

Currently I am brainstorming multiple ideas for projects to come, but the difficulty in it all is now picking mediums. With mixed media being part of my theme, I have a lot more options than anticipated and it has been overwhelming picking what I want to work with in particular projects. Right now it seems as if I was given a whole new world of tools, and do not know what to do with them. I have several ideas, but now it is a matter of narrowing them down and executing them.  

The sentence of it all...

Through this collection of pieces stories will be portrayed through photographs and interpretation of the use of color and lack of color. 

Cryptic Color

The piece that is still in works right now originated when I wanted to combine my studio art background with my new interest in photography. This piece was more built off of that and still wanting to continue with mixed media. I have always had an appeal to black and white with an intrusion of color, and the ideas that it can convey depending on the heaviness of the black and white and also the choice of color that is being added.

Therefore, continuing forward I am going with the theme "cryptic color." Throughout the semester my pieces will not only be connected through the idea of "cryptic color," but through the pattern of mixed media with photography. Rather than there being one overall meaning to the collection of pieces, they will be connected through look and construction. This way each piece may offer its own meaning, but it will still be a collection.

The Beginning

Photo in the works
Photograph by Emerson Lawton

Project #1 of year #3 begins with yet another mixed media piece. However, this time around it is digital photography, sharpies, illustration pens, and we will see what else. Thinking going big once again with possibly a 24 by 36 inch piece. Expect to see a contrasting fade out of color and black to white in this next project, and maybe even a little pop of 3D. Some editing still left to do before we can officially begin.