Why again?

ORIGINAL PLAN PRE-TA: Quit art. Ms. Wayss disapproved of plan to then came...

PLAN B: Quit art after sophomore year. Did not want to give up right before the end.

PLAN C: Quit art after junior year.

PLAN D: Stick with it...but why?

Basically art junior year was therapy sessions I didn't have to pay for. Granted I started junior year off in counseling, I believe art is one of the reasons why I was able to stop going to counseling and still be okay. It was a way of expression, but not behind closed doors, which made it empowering. It was part of a healing process and accepting all that happened and was happening rather than ignoring everything, because that is what got me in trouble in the first place. It was a way to come to terms with it all, but also make a statement. And to those who may have been "uncomfortable" or "disturbed" by the statements I was making...f*@$ off :) because at no moment were the points that got me to those pieces "comfortable" or satisfying, or even beautiful. In fact they were the total opposite. Those moments were dark, and ugly, and raw, but they were real. Those pieces were real, and those who weren't disturbed could have unfortunately probably relate in some way. So to those who didn't like those pieces, neither did I; I do not like the fact that I had to go through certain experiences to get those pieces, but I made it and they helped me through. Those pieces that make you uncomfortable healed me, and hopefully took someone else in the direction of healing.

So why am I taking art again...because it is something I need. When the rest of the world is loud, crazy, and sometimes ugly, I need a studio to go to and process it all. Art for me can no longer be about pleasing everyone, making everything perfect, and making things comfortable. Instead it must be about those who matter. It must be about who is healing because of the piece, even if that person is only me.